SEEEEXXX PLEASE
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
