And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
