You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
