You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
did you just send me my own nude
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
