Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
