i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
