you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
