we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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