I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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