Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
