If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
