I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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