At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
