he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
