I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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