Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
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