Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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