If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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