Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
im holly from the hills drunk
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
