yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
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Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize