she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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