I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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