I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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