did you get engaged???
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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