Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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