I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
