She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
