i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
