I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
