i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
