so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
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Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
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We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
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