Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
