just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
How's work?
Spinning.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
