if i can run in heels then i can drive
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
