you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
its not stalking. its research.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
