I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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