he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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