Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
