Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
