physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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