i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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