wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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