My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
