oh god the rape fog is back!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
