i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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