in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
