I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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