he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
