Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
handjob tips. give me some.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize