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: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
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