you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
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I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
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I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us