I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
