so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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