i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
