Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I smell stomach acid.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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