Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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