I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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