An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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