i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
