we're blogging at a bar
I haven't been this sober since birth.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
