I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize