Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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